Grief Counseling

Has The Pain Of Loss Impacted Your Sense Of Resilience? 

Maybe you feel disconnected from those around you because they either don’t understand what you have been through or you worry you will burden them by discussing your grief and sadness. Or perhaps you feel that you have spent too much time and energy reflecting on the loss when you’d rather just move away from the despair. 

When death or a catastrophe hits, the pain that follows can feel surreal and unlike anything you’ve ever experienced before. You may find yourself bargaining to turn back the hands of time so that you could do things differently or have just one more moment with the person or thing that you lost.  

The pain you feel is real and valid, and you’re not alone in experiencing it—despite how it might feel right now. While counseling can’t take away your grief, it can help to reduce the sadness you feel while providing you with the support you need to navigate the complex process of bereavement. 

“Grief Is… The Price We Pay For Love” – Colin Murray Parkes 

All of us experience some form of loss throughout the course of life, and grief is not limited to death or tragedy. Changes both big and small can bring about a sense of loss, and oftentimes, we are forced to reimagine our hopes and dreams after enduring heartbreak and disappointment. 

To grieve a loss is to be human—and the struggle of putting one foot in front of the other is the very essence of grief itself.

Unfortunately, our society is ill-equipped to discuss the emotions and logistics of the grieving process. We have adopted a communal expectation to move on quickly after a loss or, at the very least, not to talk about it. Yet this ethos fails to take into consideration how draining grief can be—not just emotionally, but mentally and physically as well. There is not a lot of discussion or preparation when dealing with one of the few inevitable aspects of life, which is death. And as a result, the process often looks and feels different than what we imagined. 

Moreover, certain types of loss have become taboo in our culture. When it comes to death by suicide or miscarriage, for instance, a sense of shame accompanies the already uncomfortable aspects of grief. As a society, we brush these issues under the rug or assume that if the event doesn’t fit our tidy definition of legitimate grief, then recovering from such a loss should be quicker or entirely nonexistent.

Healing is a non-linear process; it’s complex and often much more time-consuming than we think. The long and intricate nature of grief is not normalized in our culture, and so we believe that something must be wrong if we feel as though we aren’t healing quickly enough or if we’re experiencing wide-ranging and disparate emotions in the meantime. 

Our obsession with rugged individualism in America deludes us into thinking that we have to endure this complicated process by ourselves, instead of with the gentle and professional guidance of a grief counselor. At Focus Counseling, however, we understand that grief is not something to withstand alone. 

Grief Counseling Can Help You Build A Toolbox For Navigating And Healing From Your Loss

We know that being catapulted into grief amidst a major loss is a little like being asked to participate in a club to which you did not apply. However, grief counseling can provide you with the tools and understanding needed to cope. Our therapists provide a safe, warm, and supportive space for you to explore emotions and experiences while offering you the validation and normalization necessary for helping you to regulate after a loss. 

Grief is all about traversing a terrain you have never walked before—even if mourning is familiar territory to you. 

Just as each person is different, each loss is different. By providing psychoeducation about the brain’s response to grief and what to expect as you look ahead on your journey of healing, our team will help you to cultivate the skill set and awareness needed to address your unique situation, face the future, resolve the past, and contend with the many emotions you may be feeling at any given moment. 

We will begin the process of grief counseling by identifying what is happening inside of your mind and body as you locate pain and describe uncomfortable symptoms. By clarifying techniques for grounding, our counselors will provide a toolkit for regulating your emotions during the moments of bereavement when you feel out of control. 

Using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness, and narrative approaches, we will give you the opportunity to become present with your thoughts, understand how they are informing your feelings and behaviors, and rewrite the story you have been telling yourself about your life. As you develop more awareness around your beliefs and emotions, you will not only be able to improve your brain and body’s functionality but also acknowledge the complexities of grieving. And soon enough, you will be able to envision a hopeful future as you replace a sense of void with feelings of optimism and opportunity. 

Perhaps you are considering grief Therapy, but you have some concerns… 

I feel too overwhelmed by my grief to consider counseling right now. 

We understand that, especially if your loss is recent, you are likely dealing with a lot of emotional and logistical stressors right now. However, taking time for yourself throughout the grieving process will be crucial in being able to confidently face life after loss. Counseling moves at your pace and comfort level. If you are in need of support, we have a team of therapists ready to take your call. 

Will I ever heal from this sense of grief and loss I am enduring?

Yes, you will heal. But one of our first steps in grief counseling will be to redefine and readjust your expectations of what “healing” looks like. The common definition of healing refers to a quick evaporation of distress, but we find that definition oversimplified. When it comes to grief, the depth of loss is rarely taken into consideration when discussing “the healing process.” Therefore, we view the opportunity of counseling as a means for accepting the loss and acknowledging that among the joys, milestones, and accomplishments that you are sure to encounter throughout the rest of your life, you will still experience pangs of sadness—and that’s okay.  

The psychiatrist Norman Doidge has written that grief counseling is about “turning our ghosts into ancestors,” meaning that the therapeutic process aims to transform loss from a traumatic and fearful experience into a purposeful and deliberate one. Ghosts and ancestors are both dead, but how we acknowledge such losses will dictate how they inform our lives moving forward. 

How long does grief counseling take?

There is no set timeline for overcoming grief or loss; this is a complex process that takes time and depends on many factors. And while there is no definitive chronology for grief counseling, we are confident that by simply feeling seen and validated by one of our therapists, you will begin the process of healing more quickly than trying to forge the journey alone. 

Begin The Journey Of Healing Today